Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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