CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
