Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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