I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
420 ftw
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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