who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize