you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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