You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
