i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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