Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
