Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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