All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
