Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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