i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
