we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
