but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
