Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
