i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
