I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My ATM looks so different sober.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
