weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
