if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize