Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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