im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Randomize