it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
