Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize