i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
