I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
