so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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