he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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