i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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