Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
