her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
