sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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