There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize