smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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