no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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