Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
