I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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