I didn't shave. On purpose
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize