Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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