I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize