Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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