she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
