you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
