last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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