Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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