I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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