I'm lost and stupid without you.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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