barbara walters just said penis...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
