Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
