I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
