I want to have your abortion
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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