if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
