ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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