go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
