My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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