The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
