Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
