One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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