you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize