I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
ttyl tear gas
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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