my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
