Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
