i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
